Sunday, March 28, 2010

I want to know

what people do with weekend days, because I definitely sit around a closed-windowed house and meditate on the abyss in its avatar'd form, the internet.

I think the thought of the number of ultraproductive ways I could spend the time paralyzes me and encourages totally passive choices

one of my déjà vus while driving or walking down carful streets at night is a sense that I wish I could flick the sun off and spend the rest of my life driving around partway-crowded highways and city streets. I'm not sure I'd ever even need to stop anywhere to be satisfied. just wanna go and go and interact with the world only on that blessedly superficial level of building facades and a now-and-then "I wonder where -that- car's headed"s.

we're the victims of our era, watching a new technology that lets us step out of the real world be born, but seeing it too young to have it fulfill its promise of a real alternative. a hundred years from now we'll be building preferable universes in machines to fold our consciousnesses into. now we're limited to poorly-designed games and text-only mindscapes and the lightspeed mail UIs creating the illusion that we're in touch with people in realtime. mm.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

intervention

we seem to spend a lot of time thinking we're not alive yet but will be shortly

it is hard to realize that we are just as us as we will ever be and that there is no becoming to become

we are here and this is now, Sam Vimes. you do the job in front of you, John Keel.

I'll change it tomorrow next week next semester next business year
things will be better next congress, next president, next decade, next regime
next generation we'll finally next world power will at last
the sequel, I'm sure, will tie up the loose ends



but aren't we here? and isn't this now? tomorrow's just the today that came late.

it is so difficult to act. limitless freedom is hard to parse into choices when it's filtered through fear, hope, identity, crisis, sickness, the expectations we hope desperately we'll be able to meet

my name is William or Will or Crawlkill or Inkwell or Brillent or Ferast or on and on, and I've spent my life waiting for my life to start.